"Grab on! No, not like that! No, it's okay, just stand up. Wait, you can't? ...really? Okay. No, it's okay. Take your skis off. Left foot first. Okay. Grab on again. Oh, yeah, rope burn smarts. Should have brought thicker gloves. Well, don't cross your skis... NO DON'T LOOSEN YOUR GRIP NO"
Nine-year-old passing at thirty miles per hour: "Are you okay mister? Do you need me to help you up?"
"Don't pay attention to them. Everyone had to learn at some point. Okay, hang on harder this time. Not that hard, you look ridiculous. Don't bend forward like that! NO DON'T LEAN BACK NO DON'T CROSS YOUR SKI NO"
Nine-year old being towed into some idiot's fallen body at thirty miles per hour: "OOMPH"
"Sorry! Sorry! No, no, it's fine, just wait until the operator starts the lift again. Roll out of the way. No, that's not working. Okay, just crawl. Thumbs up to the operator. Really, everything's fine! Ha! Ha! But seriously, maybe you should just walk the rest of the way to the top."