One day, two women were brought before David Brooks with a baby. Each woman claimed that she was the child's mother. They asked David Brooks, renowned for his wisdom and his insight, to resolve their quarrel, and to deliver the child to the correct party. David Brooks pondered long and hard. He adjusted his bowtie. And then he rendered his judgment.
"Make everybody hurt," said David Brooks. "It's time to make tough choices. Nobody can be spared the shared sacrifice. " And with that, he drew his sword, and he cleaved the baby neatly in two.
And lo, each woman returned home with her half, and for many generations, poets and and Washington Post editorialists sung of David Brooks the Wise, and he became an icon for kings and senators of many nations.